Dear Rachel,

I heard you are flying in tomorrow. I wish I could tell you this in person but it would be too painful, so I’m giving the letter to one of the kids. I’m sorry Rachel, I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to Europe to try to figure things out for myself. I know i’m being selfish leaving you with the kids but goddammit, I’ve spent 12 years raising these children when you decided to leave and break my heart. “New York is my dream.” “Broadway is calling Jesse, I have to.” What about raising our family, Rachel? Wasn’t *that* the dream? Don’t you remember the nights we’d spent talking about our future? How we wanted children and to get married and live together?

Do you remember our wedding day? The day was perfect and clear and you looked absolutely stunning in your wedding dress. When we said our vows and promised to always love each other and to never leave no matter what. I said “You are the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen. You let me open up to a side of myself nobody has ever seen before. You saw the real me even after the horrible things i’d done to you because you believed in me. Nobody has ever believed in me. I love you, Rachel. I’d walk Heaven and Hell for you.” I said as I started to cry. ” I promise to love you with everything that I am.” I kissed you and that was it. We were together for the long haul. I picked you up and ran with you to the limo laughing and smiling. I knew you were worried about wrinkling the dress but in that moment you just didn’t care because… you were so happy.

…but things changed I guess. I still love you, and I’ll still do anything for you. That never changed. Never will. But I need some time to think and reevaluate myself. So I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t know when I’m coming back. Please tell the kids I love them.

Love, Jesse

P.S. you’re still *my* star.